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Friday, December 27, 2019

Fiat Night Before Christmas...

Merry Christmas Fiat 500

A Fiat Christmas poem written by noted Fiat enthusiast and longtime owner, John Montgomery:

“Fiat Night Before Christmas"...

'Twas the night before Christmas, and in the service bay door, sat a tired...
old FIAT, something leaking on the floor. Its fenders were dented, the
exhaust had some holes. The seats and the carpets were eaten by moles!

The canvas top was not working, all tattered and torn. The paint was dull, all weathered and worn.
The tires were bald, the radiator leaking, a turn of the wheel sent the tie rods a-creaking.

So I put on my coat and carried my chart, went out to the bay to get it to start.
The engine turned over, but there arose such a clatter...I knew from the sound it was "multi-air" chatter.

From under the dashboard there came a bright flash, the wiring harness had just turned to ash!
“I've had it with Fiats!" I finally swore. "Enough is enough,
I can't take it anymore!"

When what to my red, teary eyes should appear, but a bi-speckled Italian in black sweater gear!

"Buon giorno," he said, poking me in the belly. "You needa my help?
It’s Sergio Marchionne, favored son of Agnelli!
This one can be saved; there's no reason to grieve.
All you need is some faith--Man, you gotta believe!”

“Sip an espresso while I roll up my sleeves, after all I saved Chrysler when no one conceived!”

"A hammer! Some duct tape! Get me more tools! When you work on these cars, you just make up-a da rules!”

We'll get her cranked over-no way that she'll stall,
but stand over there with your back behind the wall.
With a cough and a sputter, the shaking was stunning--
I couldn't believe it! The darn thing was running!

Now take it to the body shop and then over to detail,
Depreciation’s a myth, sell it for retail!

Sergio held up a glowing hot harness while kicking a tire,
"Whatever you do, DO NOT TOUCHA THIS WIRE!"

I came to Chrysler and cast my spell, no one believed I would do so well.

See all those great selling Chrysler, Dodge, Ram and Jeep brands?
It wasn’t always that way until they got in my hands.
Back in time near 2009, all of them together couldn’t make a dime.

Fiat bought Chrysler when no other brand would, then paid off the loans early just because we could.

“Fix it again Tony“ fixed them all up, yet the press will never say, “Thank goodness for Fiat, they saved the day.”

“Well I must be leaving, my work is done here. Going to see Carlo Abarth, he drives with no fear. You always hear him coming, a sound we hold dear. For gas cars will be with us as long as there’s ears.

Just one more thing before I go. One day a man named Musk will make electric cars sizzle, but with gas prices so low the movement will fizzle.”

Then the old man vanished in an unsold Dodge Dart, but when the smoke cleared he had left me some parts.

So I opened the bay door and let the top down, put pedal to the metal and peeled out of this town.

And I thought to myself as I missed second gear
Merry Christmas to All and a Happy New Year!

Fiat Santa on the way

Poem: John Montgomery
Images: Courtesy of FCA

1 comment:

John Montgomery said...

Thanks for posting Chris, it’s all in good fun!